29 April 2011

Classicos, Cussing

By Dr3

Firstly, I love how much cursing there is in football these days while I continue using fack©. Anyway, there’s a difference between a bad call and a controversially bad one. However there isn’t smoke without fire. That being said let me just list what I've learned from these debacles between Real and Barcelona.

Bewildered Barcelona people:

It’s almost as if Barcelona fans don’t even believe that they are the ‘best’, while reciting hymnals about their own greatness. Why would any team try to out-attack Barcelona in Barcelona’s style (death by possession) if they are as good as you think they are? Real Madrid “tried” and were rightly put in their place with a footballing slap. Is that the spectacle you want? Again? What do you really want/expect to see? Real Madrid, and pretty much every team that has ever played this sumptuous Gaurdiola team have conceded that you are the better attacking team; you need to accept that it means that they will more than likely set up to defend and counter against you. It’s the price you pay for being the best at attacking. But football is a sport, and sport is about winning. Now get over your fucfacking self and this ridiculous football-morality.

Delusional Madridistas

YOU. Cannot. Out-attack Barcelona. Alfred. Needs. To. Gtfoh.


Wrong call. Red cards are neither for perceived intent, nor was that a supposed high-foot challenge. Even by the letter of the law. See ‘Playing in a dangerous manner’, and/or ‘Sending-off Offences’ in the “Laws of the game”. Caution. End of Story. But witnesses said otherwise though.

Material Witnesses

I think that’s what you call all the players from the bench, and on the field who are testifying to the law that someone was murdered. Sadly adding to the debacle this was seen from both teams, but more so from the colorful, crimson-ish, and blue-ish establishment that is more than a club.


For once, I will leave Jose to stand alone. Was it a ridiculous call? Absolutely. Was it the last in a line of ridiculous calls favoring Barcelona against him? Absolutely. Was it because of UNICEF and UEFA? No Jose. Should Gaurdiola be ashamed? Absolutely not Jose. But Dani Alves and everyone named Daniel, Danielle, or other variations like Sergio should be. Forever. The less I talk about the acting the better. Nonetheless someone needs to have a talk with Jose. Thoughts Drogba?


So there’s an editorial by a certain author, saying that Mourinho is a disrespectful hypocrite. While I understand what he was getting at, it was a bit dishonest, in my opinion. The fact of the matter is that as long as football is governed by a human being for 90 minutes, it’s open to the interpretation of that said human. As such, in as much as a decision may be against what you may think is the correct one, realizing that another man may view the same situation differently, eradicates Jose’s conspiracy rant. However, it does not mean that all bad calls fall within the same realm. It does not mean that there is no scale for bad calls. There is certainly a difference between a marginal offside, and that offside goal Inter scored against Siena. There is certainly a difference between a non-call for a penalty for Messi in one of the debacles, and that infamous non-call for Ronaldo against Juventus, such that the ‘hypocrisy’, is not that hypocritical while maintaining it's lunacy. Comparing the non-call for Kalou against Inter last year, to the events that led to the world being Drogba’d is ridiculous. Comparing a non-call for Milito being offside in a game in which he was also wrongly called offside while being one on one, with Pepe’s red card, or RVP’s red card are also almost defamatorily ridiculous. There is a huge difference between a bad call and a wrong call. Enough about that.

Cristiano Ronaldo is underrated by those who don’t like him and dismiss him as a great “athlete”. But he is not better than Lionel.

Messi is also almost disgustingly-good, but not better than Cristiano. He can’t do what Cristiano does. He can’t.


Ramos and Busquets have more in common than Sergio.

Gaurdiola did not win with mind games, but that was nonetheless very very entertaining.

Without knowing, while watching his blank expressions, you just witnessed a cuss-filled mini rant.

"Tomorrow at 8.45 we will play a match on the pitch," Guardiola said. "Off the field, he has won the entire year, the entire season and it will be the same in the future. He can have his personal Champions League off the pitch. Let him enjoy it, I'll let him have that. But this is a game. When it comes to sport we will play. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. We are happy with smaller victories, and hope the world will admire us as it makes us very proud."

"Here [in Real Madrid's press room], he is the chief, the fucking man. In here he is the fucking man and I can't compete with him. If Barcelona want someone who competes in that way, then they should look for another manager. But we, as people and an institution, don't do that.
"I have been here for three years, and if you think I always moan, make excuses and complain, then there's nothing I can do about that."

Anyway some good Classico reads, more enthralling than any of the games have been, or will be.

Jokes. Dirty Tackle..If it continued

My Idol really can’t stop trying to integrate MLS and CONCACAF into European football. His take.

Garganese being Garganese

Very Very Very good read IMO.

Sid Lowe doesn’t seem to like Mourinho. But is impartial. Usually.

Never mind my first sentence, I am against cursing in football by the way.Just because you're a rich Patron saint, doesn't mean you're exempted from your saintly duties.

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15 April 2011

Coincidence (part 2 of 2): Have some Soup

By Dr3

Human beings are not oranges. You don’t put oranges on a pillow for seven hours overnight and expect them to be rejuvenated; pulp and all, in the morning. This lunacy has been shoveled now, for far too facking long.

Paranoia of the mind usually runs in opposite circles to coincidence; one sees everything as being related and part of some deeper sinister plot, while the other dismisses everything as unrelated. Yet for some reason when it comes to this motherfu coach, both are boiled in one big stew of bullshit; a bullshit stew. Maybe even a soup. Supposedly the tyranny of Jose Mourinho coupled with the World Cup reduced Inter’s players to withered, salted-prune-esque creatures, incapable of any muscle functions. Supposedly, finally, the rest of the league has caught up to Inter in terms of quality, and the parody is over; real competition is back in the Serie A. Supposedly the Inter team is weaker now on the basis of ageing legs, and minds, 'needing' rejuvenation in the form of FIVE players, four months after winning a treble. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Rafa circus.

Of the starting eleven from last season’s champions league final, only four Inter players, played long enough in the World Cup to even be able to complain about work load; Wesley Sneijder, and the three Brazilians. The rest sadly, were either home before it even started, or home while it started. When we contrast this with the ‘Barcelona’ team that eventually won the World Cup, with the same players who have yet to lose a starting place since 2008, it becomes a little clearer why this ‘reasoning’, only serves as good ingredients in our colossus soup.

It’s all a coincidence as far as Rafa’s involvement. Yet, at the same time, it’s all inter-connected to Mourinho; that beast.

'Barcelona' played in six competitions, winning all six, right on the heels of winning the EURO 2008. They followed this with a League trophy and a not-so-unrespectable exit from the Champions League at the semifinal junction. Somehow, these men were able to find a blend between hard work and rest such that there was no talk of the human sauce being dried up, or players operating on dregs. Somehow there was no mass muscle injury list, from striker to goalkeeper. Somehow. Coincidentally. Nothing happened to a group of human beings in that situation. Across town, Inter win a treble; half of a sextuple. Half of their players are actually involved in an international tournament. Yet unlike the other humans in the comparatively worse situation, they wilt. It’s nothing to do with a new coach’s muscle work regime though, that’s coincidental, and it is instead all related to the well-known grueling nature of that Portuguese warlord. Unlike Barcelona players, apparently Inter’s players had never seen such a totalitarian approach to football. An all-encompassing football that required everyone to be as fluid in attack as they were in defense. Everyone defends, some attack; a kind of total-football, not as total as Barcelona’s. Yet, while Inter were actually not doing nearly as much running as their fellow humans, Inter’s players were squeezed dry. Interestingly, there was no impact on Barcelona’s players shifting up the gears between the work ethic under Rijkaard and Guardiola. Of course there’s also the reasoning that defending saps more energy than attacking, so maybe in defending so much, Inter players were burning themselves out even more; a concept that adds dumplings to the soup. While some question whether Barcelona’s players are on drugs considering their ludicrous fitness levels, others say that keeping the ball doesn’t require as much energy as defending, while other total-football aficionados claim that defending is ‘easy’. Of course, there’s also the ‘fact’ that Inter players probably weren’t strong enough to begin with such that their bodies were struggling in finally getting used to/adapting to such strength work; something that I won’t dignify with a response. Finally, there’s the Jose impact, where he is 'known' to leave teams in tatters, exploiting them like Coca Cola does Vietnamese kids. Did Chelsea have six players all out at the same time with muscle injures in 2006-2007(after the World Cup)? Did Chelsea’s players collapse into an abyss of tiredness and injuries? No? Where exactly does this Jose perception come from? When has any Jose Mourinho team ever had the ridiculous injury list that Inter had at the end of 2010 ALL related to muscle strains? Yet we recycle this malarkey, pardoning this motherfu coach.

Bewildered, dazed and confused I begin searching. Looking into the heavens I’m forced to ask why God? Why is this man afforded all of these luxuries? Is it that Istanbul wet dream? Can it really be his work with Rea Madrid’s primary-schoolers? The Valencia work? Is it his alluring speeches about ‘stats’ and ‘facts’? Maybe it’s his metaphors that make sense five weeks later? Maybe it’s the flushed, pink, blushing look he always seems to wear? Maybe it’s the way he cleans his glasses in bad times? Maybe it’s the way he took on Fergie? What is it? It certainly isn’t his record at Liverpool. So just what is it? People jump to his defense citing Inter’s reluctance to back him with purchases, pretending again that the signings of people like N’lol were coincidental, and somehow with one enamoring smirk a deep seated belief in him is cemented. Never have I ever seen a coach that can divide opinions the way he does. Inter fans and Liverpool fans alike have a section of Rafa cheerleaders. I still cannot explain it. How can there be a split decision on a coach? How can there be so many people believing that someone is a dimwit, while another group actively sympathizes? Is that even possible? Thinking a little deeper I realize that I’ve read about one other person like that before; Jesus.

And so, sadly it’s proven, Rafa worryingly divides people in the way Jesus did.

Coincidentally, Rafa’s arrival and management corresponded with; other teams becoming worthy opponents, players dropping as if hit with swine flu, Inter’s worst league position in five years, and Inter’s defense being abysmal (it got worse with Leonardo, but in his case the injury to Walter Samuel since Rafa is not an excuse, it's crazy Leo). At Liverpool coincidentally, a lot of money was spent building a team that in one year after his departure needed revamping, and is still being reconstructed. While Ciro Ferrara was fired as soon as things went pear-shaped despite his youth team success (please remember Juventus actually started as favorites that season with Diego in sensational form), Ancelotti despite his reputation ‘must-go’ for benching the Drog, Rafa, shouldn’t be fired. It was because of ownership issues. It was because of a lack of investment in an obviously depleted squad. It was because he wasn’t given enough money to spend over a large period of time. It was because of the Fergie bias, and other facts. It was because of Robbie Keane. It was because of salted-prune Inter players becoming a year older in one day. It was because of injuries. It was because he wasn't given enough control. The slow start at Liverpool was definitely Hodgsons fault, but at Inter, it was somehow because of what Mourinho did the season before and the World Cup.

Can’t you see? Can’t you see that given the time he needs, and the money he deserves that he will build a fortress, ushering in the good times? The sweet times? We would stand like a tower. A mountain. "A mountain of sugar". It’s all a coincidence. While bad performances follow him like flies do shit, the sympathizers remain. But never a man to shy away from waxing something metaphorical Rafa also had a riposte for all this coincidence talk. It’s “a saying in Spain” he quips; “White liquid in a bottle has to be milk”.

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