12 January 2011

Maicon is finished!!!

By Dr3

Warning: the following contains a higher than normal volume of self-promotion

Five months later, due to Gareth 'Rafa Benitez' Bale, he's finished. ForEVARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

The footballing world is one in which culpability in general, to say the very least, is disgustingly high. From the tweets of Babel getting him grounded, to the reactions to every single instance of humanity displayed by our football slaves being as melodramatic as they are humorously unfunny, football; or footballers at least, walk a very tight rope open to ethics/morality tirades. Maybe this is part of the price of fame, but why aren’t the watchers/investigators/reporters/judges/lawyers or Garganese’s of these criminally paid and prosecuted entertainers as culpable? Yes, I know truly objective journalism might be a myth, but so are football-patron-saints.

Sprinkled through a lot of my writing is a diatribe of Carlo Garganese, and in trying to be more transparent in an attempt to distance myself from everything FIFA , I will finally explain my hatred of Carlo; as an ideal. “Of all time”, “worst” EVAR!!!, “best” EVARRR, “never” EVARRRRR!!, are all common tools of this alarmist, extremist, plague-of-a-football-writer. I don’t know the man; don’t hate the human, but the ideal. I understand exaggeration for effect, clicks, comments, rebuttals, paystubs and generally building a name/reputation (I am talking about him after all), but where’s the culpability? Is it really acceptable for a writer to continuously purport and then recant seamlessly and shamelessly? Is it really okay for banal extremist debates to fill webpages? Is it really okay in this football world of responsibility, that people could be disinformed and supposedly misinformed? Is it really okay for writers to irresponsibly corroborate their arguments with claims that really cannot even begin to be substantiated? Is it?

Usually I shake my head with scorn, as being a real football fan it would be beneath me to even indulge in such follies. But in the latest installment of never-ending absolutes, the ideal proceeded to list 100 players better than Cristiano Ronaldo. Firstly, I realize that goal.com articles in general should be taken with two handfuls of salt. Secondly, I realize that the target audience being as vast as it is, is more geared towards clicks, than real insight, or even intelligent writing. But again, this is about culpability. Certainly if David Bentley’s wife’s tweets need to be censored and tactful, then even the comments in jest at a charity match, of writers on such a popular website, need to be sifted for shit. It’s a mini-travesty. The media in general has so much power in the way of forming, and legitimizing opinions, that it is almost criminal that the internet has given an audience to this type of (huge misnomer) ‘reporting’. 100 players better than Cristiano? Really? Is that really an opinion? A fact? A factoid? Or just more pish posh of an alarmist?

I won’t hyperlink to that piece-of-shit article. Let me just highlight why this type of ‘journalism’ infuriates me to the core; why Carlo as an ideal, disgusts me. There is a very real difference between reading about, reading statistics of, watching highlights of, and watching players play; if not every, many games. To include players in your analysis for a player comparison from times in which tree leaves and the ocean were the same color on television, when you are clearly under 60, is to be talking about things you really have no business talking about. To talk in absolutes meanwhile, is to be both pretentious and naïve. Death is the only absolute. Kill the melodrama.

Cristiano Ronaldo is an exceptional player. Lately I have argued mostly in jest that he is better than Messi to get a certain point across; he deserves more credit. Cristiano Ronaldo, underrated? Yes. In what again is a morality tirade, people hate Cristiano the ideal, and as such denounce everything he does as being comparatively poorer than the divinity of Messi. Cristiano and his vulgar ‘titty’ celebration can’t do what Messi does, while being as humble and likeable; therefore, there are a hundred players better than him in history. Cristiano is at least in the top 10 players of my entire generation. To put him outside of a top 100 would be to denounce my entire generation of football which is alarming, even from an alarmist. Anyway to avoid delving unnecessarily into the article and fisking (which is bad according to my idol), it turns out Carlo is melodramatically, refuting the melodramatic claim of Cristiano’s agent that he is the greatest of all time. Instead of constructing a lucid argument denouncing the outlandish absolute, he chose to use his access to archives, and ostentatious factoids as a penis substitute, and spout out irrelevant names that need wikipeadia-ing. Not for the first time, given the opportunity to write about football, for money, the ideal, Carlo, chose to write for a flutter of outrage, once again going into his rolodex of spurious claims.

Here’s a quick catalog of Carlo as an ideal, being exactly what I hate:

Inter have No Chance of winning the 2010 CL !!

Inter Can’t beat Barca!!



Recant, Congratulations, and shameless claim of victory for 'us'?

All of the above were Inter-centric and as such I took notice. As time went on though, I realized it wasn’t so much of an Inter issue as it was one of just a knack for the overly-sensationalized ‘reporting’. Shouldn’t he be held accountable for being such a loud-mouth. Isn’t this a modern era boy-who-cried-wolf? I realize that much of this very rant seems bitter, or even offensive towards the man. It isn’t. It’s about culpability. Is it okay for footballers to release a statement retracting a gaff? Would it be okay if they did it continuously? How could it then be okay for this-type-of-journalism to exist? Seriously?

This 100 players business is ludicrous; for an article. I am hungry enough to eat a horse. Don’t believe me? Then I will go ahead listing the amount of protein, men in my family have eaten routinely over the last two decades to somehow substantiate that claim as a fact. (????) I am ranting because this isn’t a facebook fan page. This isn’t a forum. This isn’t a thread. This is a, God-help-us, VERY popular site; a journalist who is chief editor for my beloved Calcio. But who’s gonna stop ‘em.

SN: My idol took notice of me on his twitter some time ago apparently (yay?), anyway, he has been watching the watchers, in a series since the new year started. He also wrote his thoughts about this twitter ‘debacle’, weirdly while I drafted my very much different version..anyway, subscribe to me, then subscribe to him.

Kris Voakes moaned a few weeks back: "In a sport which is so intrinsically team-based, why oh why people need to pick the bones out of everything Player X does in comparison to Player Y, heaven only knows. And some like to then break down the merits of footballers over a period of up to half a century and decide that Player Q is actually better than either X or Y. But one of the best things about football is that it generates such a vast array of opinions, and the ‘greatest player in the world’ debate is just another topic for people to get their teeth into, so who am I to stop them?"

And you won't stop me Kris.

...he said...before going into his now-infamous Rolodex.

Want more? Go ahead and SUBSCRIBE to Football Rehab!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Contact Us