14 November 2010

A Parody

By Dr3

After making around 20 appearances in two years. After not playing a single minute this year. After being an Inter mascot from last season until now, Marco Materazzi anchored Inter Milan in a 4-4-2 diamond formation which hadn’t been used since the beginning of 2008/2009. Add to that Gareth Bale as Batman making a once water-tight Inter defense look like Joker henchmen, and we have a facking problem.

Rafael-Morattititis with a twist of Galliani?


Moratti has always been a laughing stock for the incredulous amounts of money he has spent over the years trying to change Inter from being the retarded cousin no one talks about, to a ‘team of champions’. He’s been wheel-&-dealed by Moggi to Galliani into either buying crap players, or selling talented ones. His fortunes changed when a certain Calciopoli removed the Old lady of Italian football from the Serie A, and in the process handed over the backsliders and Zlatans. Whether through his connections with everyone from Verizon to TSTT(or maybe even Jack Warner) or not, things were being said by Mr. Moggi on those wiretaps that shed some light as to why the overwhelming conspiracy in Serie A was that the Old Lady, tripled as a witch and a thief. Morratti became Robin Hood (Moggi being that Sheriff), and a ‘happily ever after’ was in queue. One of his merry men, Roberto Mancini as Will Scarlet, sold himself out of the marriage by openly being a Zlatan, i.e. a turncoat, openly professing some self-hatred after losing to a certain Rafael Benitez. Lives move on and Little John is cast; Jose Mourinho. With him at his side the nearly men Merry men, became winners of a treble. Adding some key elements to the band, they became a genuine threat, and not just a myth. Sherwood Forest became more a fortress, and any man would fear to go there. Then someone (Robin) caught a bug.

At this point the play ends.

Jose’s exit was a bit of a betrayal in itself. After talking up a pay rise and contract extension, he chose to leave while on top and shove a huge one in the Calcio media’s shall we say faces. Moratti was left with some decisions to make following many revelations during a tumultuous two year marriage that was Jose; Balotelli, Amantino Mancini, Quaresma. Granted. This is however where the arrogance, and hackneyed decision making of a ‘naive’ winner comes into play. At some point Moratti convinced himself that the team picks itself and runs itself. He convinced himself that even a waiter could win a treble with such players. He had a ‘team of champions’. He could sell the 10 goal, 5 assist substitute, the Portuguese misfit, refuse to reinforce the team, and hire the said waiter, and still turn out a champion team.


From one season in which Drogba was made to look like Elmander, we fast forward to the present and Caracciolo looks all too much like Van Basten. I have no more analogies. No more jokes. No more quips. This is a travesty. Self inflicted by a masochist. But maybe we’re being duped. Maybe he enjoyed the ‘rise’ and the thrill of stealing from the rich so much, that he wants to do it all over again. Or maybe the laughing stock fooled us; he’s really a comedian, and this is his swan song. Blame Rafa? I refuse to. Do I plot the murder of a rooster for crowing?


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