21 September 2010

The Barcelona-Hater

By Dr3

Not liking doesn’t constitute disliking. To suggest that somehow by virtue of their existence as Barcelona, a person needs to rationalize not liking them is in itself supercilious enough to galvanize hatred from any and everyone, everywhere, ever. Hi, I am a Barcelona ‘Hater’.

It is fundamentally impossible to hate a football team if we focus solely on football (minus the Heskey-Owen Liverpool). Once we add morality/philosophy, history, a brand, and the constant soap opera of the media, emotions are born, and what was once as fickle as the facebook like button, becomes intense hatred/love. As with everything else that incites and polarizes opinions in football then, it is in fact the media and fans, and the ‘voices’ around a club, which really dictate the feelings towards that club. In telling me then that you’re intrinsically superior to me, based on your philosophy, undoubtedly, I won’t like or warm to you, but it doesn’t mean that I hate you. I won’t be naive enough to suggest that there are no Barcelona haters, but having a negative opinion about something is characteristic but not evidence of disliking/hating it.

When Barcelona won nothing, nobody hated them. When Barcelona started winning (again?), nobody hated them. When Barcelona won everything, everybody hated them. It suggests then that people hate them now because they are on top. Well, not really. They’re the team that supposedly is taking the road less traveled, in sticking to a philosophy rather than the ‘anything-it-takes-to-win’ a la Mourinho. They’re the team that plays football the way it should be played. They’re more than a club politically and on the pitch. They are the football to Inter’s, Chelsea’s, and any-damn-team versus Barcelona’s anti-football. That is, if football was religion, all non-Barca people are hell-bound atheists. Unfortunately people rarely ever like being told they’re going to hell. People being mandated to now justify their allegiances, in the face of the mammoth divinity that is Barca, are repulsed. Suddenly, a victory against them by any team represents a victory for every team that isn’t Barca, but it’s their fault. If you do in fact play aesthetically real/valid football, then any victory against you is a victory for the fake; the rest of us. It’s the environment suitable for Mourinho’s siege mentality, created by the patronizing Catalans. The type of elitist solipsism that is spewed by Cryuff's and Xavi’s alike to the press, and through water sprinklers at Camp Nou, act as skunk acid. Nobody likes a snob. Nobody. And only a skunk finds another skunk sexy.

Losers don’t talk, and as such Xavi on finally completing puberty has put on his man voice and talked into the soapbox now that he’s a winner. With classless jibes, and the narcissism of P. Diddy, the maestro, has managed to conduct a symphony of assholes off the field, who sit around a fire chanting “Mes que un Club”. Somehow though, it still remains sacrilegious to like Chelsea and not Barcelona. It’s ludicrous to not accept Barcelona’s expansive, attacking play as your tyrant Lord. It’s ludicrous to even think about liking Inter. No big team should ever play counter attacking football ever, have you not seen Barcelona? What was supposedly once the road less travelled to greatness/success is now the doctrine; you must play like Barcelona.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. In applying the morality of the real versus the anti-real so to speak, to any other realm of life, it becomes a little clearer as to why everything Barcelona is ‘hated’, from celebrating a Messi injury as stupid as that is, to purporting that Messi is in fact overrated. People don’t need to justify having a preference for anything. It’s the nature of a person to be able to like something different than someone else and to be reprimanded for that is absurd. If I love my milk cold with my cereal and you don’t, is there a problem? Am I anti-‘cereal and milk’? If I like my women a certain way while you don’t, am I anti-women? If I like suede shoes, am I anti-footwear? If I like not warm or cold, but hot showers, am I anti-showers? If I love blue while everyone else loves yellow, am I anti-color? Do I have to love yellow, because it is yellow? Is yellow the only color a person is allowed to like? People reserve the right to their own prejudices, such that if you impose your philosophy and will upon them they’re likely to revolt and defend their way of thinking, sometimes belligerently, and irrationally (like a hater). I don’t like Barcelona. I do like counter-attacking football. I do like a focal star on my team. I do like Inter Milan. I don’t feel the need to like Barcelona. I don’t like their style. I don’t find it enthralling. I just like Inter.If in liking Inter Milan I am anti-Barca and as such anti-realfootball, then like a good pastor’s child, my resolve at being anti-whatever-the-fack, is only strengthened. Of course it also means that I’m an atheist Barca-hater.


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