24 March 2010

Agent Numbnutts

By Dr3


Forgive me. No depth of thought, no real attempt at being eloquent, just my genuine, lucid commentary on the fools that sober me in football; agents. I hate agents. These bonus-hunting specimens contrive stories to derail team unity, and inflate egos, while over-evaluating their clients for the said bonus-hunting. What more can I say? Why do I have to hear anything from the mouth of any agent? Who are these people? Going to your favorite football news outlet right now I can guarantee some agent being quoted as “news” etc etc.

Maybe someone can show me the light. Is it that before the existence of agents, players were exploited like slaves? Can someone tell me what exactly their positive contribution to the game is?

Anyway, some dishonorable mentions;

Coach Numbnutts: Marcello Lippi

Here’s his gem of archaic prejudice:

Inter are a great squad, but they cannot be taken as an example of Italian football because they are all foreign

Which league do they play in Marcello?..numbnutts


Editor Numbnutts: Alex Dimond, Goal.com, Chelsea Correspondent

I won’t even quote this man. Long story short if Essien and Bosignwa were fit, Chelsea would have indisputably won the tie. Of course, I can throw in that if I was born earlier I would in fact be Mc Hammer.


Playing or maybe plain Numbnutts: Albert Riera

…..speechless...I am without speech.


Pundit Numbnutts: Warren Barton

For those of us who have had the displeasure of watching any league other than the EPL on FSC, you would have undoubtedly had to come across this man’s supposed knowledge (and basic knowledge at that) of any team, any tactics, anything. I wish I had jotted down the amount of misinformation about squad members, tactical set up, player position and even player traits whether it is from Ac Milan to Napoli (he once said Diego Milito is left-footed) that this man has solely been responsible for. This is your job buddy. You have some sort of responsibility to knowing about football outside of mother England (which to give some credit he does know about).Seriously, stop being a noob.



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